I'm appreciating this reflection. I worked in an assisted living facility over a decade ago, and I often asked the folks living there how old they felt. People were 70, 80, 90--most answered between 30-40 years. I wondered if they were touching into the timeless nature of being, it seemed like an important refuge to have, despite aging bodies and physical limitations, the Mind was at its peak. Personally, I feel different ages in different situations. Sometimes I feel like a child, sometimes I feel like an old man ready to let go of this world, in social situations I often feel like I am in my early twenties, when I am teaching I feel like I am 50, sometimes I feel ageless, just simply present.
I'm 78 and finally feel like I'm the age I was meant to be! I've only discovered that fact in the last year or so. I'm an oldest child, and have always been very mature, "responsible;" now I have the right to pick and choose what I will take responsibility for. When I was 45, I called my mom and said, "when do the grownups show? I'm in all these meetings with people who act like my 5-year-old?!?" She laughed and said, "Well, I don't have very good news for you, my dear. Most of my friends didn't start to act like grownups until they lost their parents." Indeed.
I have always admired true elders, and aspired to be one. There are those who say that in indigenous communities, that is believed to be the true purpose of education -- to teach people how to become elders. How different our world would be if we hadn't lost that!
So while I'm still sometimes startled by the face in the mirror, there's no doubt in my mind that I'm where I belong now.
hahaha...first of all I now realize I am of an age that I could be your mother, Satya! That is a delightful thought. What might it be like to have such a precious daughter! As for my 74(in a few days) self I have often assured myself that as I feel and look maybe 60ish I can still wear some of the more trendy fashions I like and that I still fit in . So all of that is rather surface level...I can easily go into my 5 year old or 7 year old or 14-16 year old self and feel the feels of the time .Sometimes it's just to visit and sometimes I go into that skin to right a wrong...to say what I couldn't say at the time but knew was a truth psychically. The further away I get from my birth, the bursting forth from the other world, the more I haven't even a surface sense of self. It is as if I was sleep walking. I can articulate the facts and history but not many sensations . It is not easy to relate to that self so I can't easily imagine being the ages 18-40. And then I woke up, came to consciousness..... I actually changed my surface life and came to the joy of being. So 40 was a new birth and with 20 years of expansion and deep living, loving and joy I reach 60 as the perfect age. And here I sit enjoying the newer depth of life, cherishing each newness that pops up and through. Unless something dramatic happens I feel as though I will stay 60 into olden -golden age (and continue to wear cute jeans!)
What a great topic and I love the conversation you had with your nephews. They are so lucky to have you!
When I was younger I always felt older than my actual age, maybe in part due to growing up as a 'latch-key' kid and as an only child with a single Mom. I pondered things that I know others my age did not question. Now, at age 63, my mindset always feels more youthful :-) I think of time as a human made construct and while there is a physical aging process that cannot be ignored, what matters to me is how I perceive my existence in the swirl of time and how I show up in the world.
I literally turn 25 in a month. I always felt my age until I was around 17, when I realized how far behind I was socially and how unconnected I was to my neighborhood and the people around me, my small family included. I feel 17 and 80 at the same time—17 describes my emotional maturity and career status (I am unemployed and have never had a job beyond unpaid news intern, mostly because I mentally tire easily, don’t network well, and have high standards), and 80 evokes the feeling that time has still passed way too fast for me to be in this state. Overall, I’m stuck in a rut, and constantly comparing myself to fellow zoomers my age; I am very much a neophyte and a former idealist in the doldrums at the same time.
Yesterday I celebrated my 40th birthday so this conversation is top of mind for me. Last night I hosted a lovely party with friends and family both younger and older than me, most of whom hadn't met each other before. I designed the party around building connection and encouraging conversation. I think aging is a privilege and I'm eager to celebrate it. It's so interesting to hear how my brother, who is two and a half years younger than me, sees it. He and his wife have been together since they were in college and they now have two little kids and a big suburban house. I live in a small apartment and don't have kids of my own; my boyfriend lives around the corner from me with his two kids who are 11 and 16. My brother said last night that he thinks of himself as waaaaay younger than me and won't be 40 for a loooooong time and said this is because I've lived more lives than he has, different careers, countries, communities, etc. I was sort of surprised to hear his description. Perhaps our dynamic is similar to your nephews'?
Having turned 74 in December, this is an apt question for me. In kindergarten, I was building cities with the wood blocks, reading adult magazines in 1st grade, and not relating with my peers at all. Aging backwards is my story too. Today, I am physically active, and doing the school work that was interrupted by the draft, Vietnam, then work, skipping college. At last, I am back with the 20 somethings in graduate school, and loving it. It's hard to adjust with the generation gap, and is exciting and fulfilling too.
My biological age has turned 20 on 3 January. But I felt my age is 40 because i have listened many spritual philosophycal and motivational lectures about life .I want to become a adult in positive way because when you become adult you get a understanding about life and senseless things that attracts us .
I am 83 and am very happy with my age. However, I spend a lot of time exercising physically and mentally to keep me functioning at a level close to my actuarial age.
I’ve always felt like my inner age was 32, and this week I finally had my inner golden birthday! Not sure if my inner age will change as I get older, but it feels good to be here 😊
I love this! I think 10% feels pretty spot on -- I’m turning 50 but feel 40. I somehow missed the Atlantic article, but that “same, girl” passage; absolutely brilliant. I’m realizing so many big things about myself this week!
I am about to turn thirty and I feel about 35. My personality and preferences have become less and less conversation-worthy (for better or worse) as I’ve grown older and I can feel those well described lenses aligning towards something like clarity.
I love this article, Satya! I'm lucky to come from a legacy of women on my mother's side who tend to have breakthroughs in their 70s. Nana (70) married Ed (65) and had the happiest 30 years of her life. Mom played golf for 40+ years and had a hole-in-one (one on a regulation course) at age 76. I hope my breakthrough will be the memoir I publish by 2025 when I'll be 73. Thank you for all you do. I'm looking forward to more iChing.
I have been 12 my entire life. When I was 5, I was 12. When I was 12, I was 12. And now at 62, I am still 12. Frankly, it is weird. It was weird when I was in elementary school, and it is even weirder now. Also, adults are and always have been hard to deal with. Mostly I feel a little bit like a fraud pretending to be old and adult-ish. I had never thought about the importance of this topic relative to identity. Thank you!
After a thoughtful consideration, I conclude that I feel 42 ((not sure why specifically 42).
I really never enjoyed being with adults… and would exit most adult conversations ,which i, in my recollection were usually conflictual; I would exit to my bedroom.
Today, at age 72 I feel as though, instead of being at ‘retirement age,’ I am just start out on my professional journey and in many ways I am, having only completed my graduate degree at age 60 something and starting my professional care soon thereafter.
Many of my younger clients tell me “you don’t seem that old… 72, but younger.
Though I have your book Quarter life, it still sits on my bookshelf unread.”, with good intention to start reading any day now. LOL
I’m ALL about the individuation process and it is a ‘quarnerstone’ to ALL long term goals on my clients treatment plans (their own therapy goals are their short term goals.)
I'm appreciating this reflection. I worked in an assisted living facility over a decade ago, and I often asked the folks living there how old they felt. People were 70, 80, 90--most answered between 30-40 years. I wondered if they were touching into the timeless nature of being, it seemed like an important refuge to have, despite aging bodies and physical limitations, the Mind was at its peak. Personally, I feel different ages in different situations. Sometimes I feel like a child, sometimes I feel like an old man ready to let go of this world, in social situations I often feel like I am in my early twenties, when I am teaching I feel like I am 50, sometimes I feel ageless, just simply present.
I'm 78 and finally feel like I'm the age I was meant to be! I've only discovered that fact in the last year or so. I'm an oldest child, and have always been very mature, "responsible;" now I have the right to pick and choose what I will take responsibility for. When I was 45, I called my mom and said, "when do the grownups show? I'm in all these meetings with people who act like my 5-year-old?!?" She laughed and said, "Well, I don't have very good news for you, my dear. Most of my friends didn't start to act like grownups until they lost their parents." Indeed.
I have always admired true elders, and aspired to be one. There are those who say that in indigenous communities, that is believed to be the true purpose of education -- to teach people how to become elders. How different our world would be if we hadn't lost that!
So while I'm still sometimes startled by the face in the mirror, there's no doubt in my mind that I'm where I belong now.
hahaha...first of all I now realize I am of an age that I could be your mother, Satya! That is a delightful thought. What might it be like to have such a precious daughter! As for my 74(in a few days) self I have often assured myself that as I feel and look maybe 60ish I can still wear some of the more trendy fashions I like and that I still fit in . So all of that is rather surface level...I can easily go into my 5 year old or 7 year old or 14-16 year old self and feel the feels of the time .Sometimes it's just to visit and sometimes I go into that skin to right a wrong...to say what I couldn't say at the time but knew was a truth psychically. The further away I get from my birth, the bursting forth from the other world, the more I haven't even a surface sense of self. It is as if I was sleep walking. I can articulate the facts and history but not many sensations . It is not easy to relate to that self so I can't easily imagine being the ages 18-40. And then I woke up, came to consciousness..... I actually changed my surface life and came to the joy of being. So 40 was a new birth and with 20 years of expansion and deep living, loving and joy I reach 60 as the perfect age. And here I sit enjoying the newer depth of life, cherishing each newness that pops up and through. Unless something dramatic happens I feel as though I will stay 60 into olden -golden age (and continue to wear cute jeans!)
What a great topic and I love the conversation you had with your nephews. They are so lucky to have you!
When I was younger I always felt older than my actual age, maybe in part due to growing up as a 'latch-key' kid and as an only child with a single Mom. I pondered things that I know others my age did not question. Now, at age 63, my mindset always feels more youthful :-) I think of time as a human made construct and while there is a physical aging process that cannot be ignored, what matters to me is how I perceive my existence in the swirl of time and how I show up in the world.
I literally turn 25 in a month. I always felt my age until I was around 17, when I realized how far behind I was socially and how unconnected I was to my neighborhood and the people around me, my small family included. I feel 17 and 80 at the same time—17 describes my emotional maturity and career status (I am unemployed and have never had a job beyond unpaid news intern, mostly because I mentally tire easily, don’t network well, and have high standards), and 80 evokes the feeling that time has still passed way too fast for me to be in this state. Overall, I’m stuck in a rut, and constantly comparing myself to fellow zoomers my age; I am very much a neophyte and a former idealist in the doldrums at the same time.
Yesterday I celebrated my 40th birthday so this conversation is top of mind for me. Last night I hosted a lovely party with friends and family both younger and older than me, most of whom hadn't met each other before. I designed the party around building connection and encouraging conversation. I think aging is a privilege and I'm eager to celebrate it. It's so interesting to hear how my brother, who is two and a half years younger than me, sees it. He and his wife have been together since they were in college and they now have two little kids and a big suburban house. I live in a small apartment and don't have kids of my own; my boyfriend lives around the corner from me with his two kids who are 11 and 16. My brother said last night that he thinks of himself as waaaaay younger than me and won't be 40 for a loooooong time and said this is because I've lived more lives than he has, different careers, countries, communities, etc. I was sort of surprised to hear his description. Perhaps our dynamic is similar to your nephews'?
Having turned 74 in December, this is an apt question for me. In kindergarten, I was building cities with the wood blocks, reading adult magazines in 1st grade, and not relating with my peers at all. Aging backwards is my story too. Today, I am physically active, and doing the school work that was interrupted by the draft, Vietnam, then work, skipping college. At last, I am back with the 20 somethings in graduate school, and loving it. It's hard to adjust with the generation gap, and is exciting and fulfilling too.
My biological age has turned 20 on 3 January. But I felt my age is 40 because i have listened many spritual philosophycal and motivational lectures about life .I want to become a adult in positive way because when you become adult you get a understanding about life and senseless things that attracts us .
I am 83 and am very happy with my age. However, I spend a lot of time exercising physically and mentally to keep me functioning at a level close to my actuarial age.
I’ve always felt like my inner age was 32, and this week I finally had my inner golden birthday! Not sure if my inner age will change as I get older, but it feels good to be here 😊
I love this! I think 10% feels pretty spot on -- I’m turning 50 but feel 40. I somehow missed the Atlantic article, but that “same, girl” passage; absolutely brilliant. I’m realizing so many big things about myself this week!
I am about to turn thirty and I feel about 35. My personality and preferences have become less and less conversation-worthy (for better or worse) as I’ve grown older and I can feel those well described lenses aligning towards something like clarity.
I love this article, Satya! I'm lucky to come from a legacy of women on my mother's side who tend to have breakthroughs in their 70s. Nana (70) married Ed (65) and had the happiest 30 years of her life. Mom played golf for 40+ years and had a hole-in-one (one on a regulation course) at age 76. I hope my breakthrough will be the memoir I publish by 2025 when I'll be 73. Thank you for all you do. I'm looking forward to more iChing.
I have been 12 my entire life. When I was 5, I was 12. When I was 12, I was 12. And now at 62, I am still 12. Frankly, it is weird. It was weird when I was in elementary school, and it is even weirder now. Also, adults are and always have been hard to deal with. Mostly I feel a little bit like a fraud pretending to be old and adult-ish. I had never thought about the importance of this topic relative to identity. Thank you!
Lovely, curios and delightful read.
After a thoughtful consideration, I conclude that I feel 42 ((not sure why specifically 42).
I really never enjoyed being with adults… and would exit most adult conversations ,which i, in my recollection were usually conflictual; I would exit to my bedroom.
Today, at age 72 I feel as though, instead of being at ‘retirement age,’ I am just start out on my professional journey and in many ways I am, having only completed my graduate degree at age 60 something and starting my professional care soon thereafter.
Many of my younger clients tell me “you don’t seem that old… 72, but younger.
Though I have your book Quarter life, it still sits on my bookshelf unread.”, with good intention to start reading any day now. LOL
I’m ALL about the individuation process and it is a ‘quarnerstone’ to ALL long term goals on my clients treatment plans (their own therapy goals are their short term goals.)
Gorgeous Kandinsky! Thank you. Happy New Year 2024!