So much to learn about this thing we call addiction. This story has a lot to unpack about the struggles of this young man. I am curious Satya, if you’ve ever read The War of the Gods in Addiction by David Shoen. He’s a Jungian analyst that specializes in addiction. Anyway, his concept was that as addiction progresses a ‘network’ is established between the Shadow and Persona. This explains the Dr. Jekle Mr. Hyde behaviors while on the substance. Then, a more menacing threat takes over that network; the Collective Shadow. As Jungians know, anything collective or archetypal is powerful!! I’m simplifying, of course, but this explains the intense phsycological power driving the behaviors. It’s well beyond anything the ego or waking consciousness can deal with. That’s why, for some, the spiritual Higher Power or Self in Jungian terms may be the only way out of the Archetypal Evil/Shadow network. As I framed the story of Chris in this way, boy it all made sense. He was even aware of the God Self inside himself and sought it out in the Catholic monestary. But that trip back home to his Dad was just what that already established network needed to re-fire. His relationship to the Self wasn’t strong enough yet. Harry Potter is a perfect analogy to this. I’m very sorry for him as well as your pain and loss. Thanks for sharing his story. 🙏
Thank you for this heartrending story. I am so glad he came to you and touched you after his death. It does confirm that even though he died, he did feel a loving connection and wanted to let you know.
Beautiful and deeply moving, Satya. So rare to see addiction through this lens… and deeply important. Jonathan and I were just talking about addiction and fentanyl specifically, and i feel like this shed light onto some of the questions we were asking.
Thank you for this portrait of the intimacy, and sometimes heartbreak, in a therapeutic relationship. May 'Chris' feel or sense -- know somehow, your tribute to him in your remembering.
What a beautiful tribute to your friend Chris🙏🏻 and such a thoughtful and insightful analysis of the multifold complexities of sustained recovery. Lapse/Relapse risk just never goes away in recovery imo, it can be reduced but never eliminated and the longer we abstain the greater the mortal risk if we relapse (especially with opioids). Opioid tolerance builds in active addiction but also wains in recovery. I see a lot of “Grandiose” thinking in men who have survived and support a well seasoned substance use disorder and always seem to present as a kind of Puer, as you mentioned adorning the "Victim Narrative" as a sort of justification for the history of use. As Miller referenced this sort of inflation is the reverse of depression/BPD2 and part of the denial complex. The mother wound complexes are so very difficult for men to surmount and transcend. I liked that Chris found Catholicism, it points to the healing that can be found in the connection to the Virgin Mother as referenced by Jung that can lead to the building of a structure of completion or wholeness to be gained in surrender to the existential mystery. Finding a "Why" and enough meaning in life to carry on is available to us all as outlined in the 12th Step of recovery. I sometimes think that Sisyphus must be Addictus' anima. Thanks for Sharing
I am reminded of a young man I once worked with, though our work together was not long lasting. There are similarities of life experiences, personality traits, philosophies, familial histories, and more. Even the clinical experience with my client was similar. Reading Chris’s story caused me to take a moment to take pause, remember him, and recall the work we did together; was it successful?
Did I make a difference? ❤️
As you spoke of the in session “I love you,” I relate. And even find that in other clients I work with.
So much of the work we do is about LOVE.
in so many ways it’s about preparing for the next lifetime, yes?
Again, thank you Satya for Chris’ story. Lovely, compelling..
Thank you for sharing this. It broke me to read it at first while slowly,synchronously validating something that I have been sitting with for sometime now.
The world used to be a place where community living was accepted and it helped to have that belonging for an individual. Now with this highly differentiated and separateness of being, seems to have really made true " Loneliness Kills."
If being present to one another, being with another's life as a witness or as observer could be felt truly, one wouldn't probably give in to the demons of drugs.
Sorry for rambling.
Thank you for sharing this.. really means a lot to me.
Wow. Perfect read for me, this Sunday morning. I will attend today’s group with Satya with more understanding of her therapist point of view.
I relate to his story in many ways, at a lower volume. My parents’ mental troubles, a recurring depression, my use of alcohol for relief. At 74, I am thriving in a sober living, with good support for sobriety, my therapist, and friends in AA. Every time I have tried to live alone, I revert. In community and connection, I find life and love.
This essay absolutely gripped me. Chris sounds like such an incredible, intellectual, and emotionally intellegent soul who lived with so much pain. I'm so glad he had your guidance. I truly appreciate the empathy of your words when you write about addiction, especially how you acknowledge addiction/trauma connection.
This quote gutted me:
"He was going to find his way into academia to challenge how addiction is understood and treated, he frequently told me. He was like a journalist embedded in a war zone, this was all just preparation for the story he was going to tell someday, and the policy changes he hoped to make."
He would have been a fabulous journalist. Thanks for sharing his story with us. ❤️🩹
So much to learn about this thing we call addiction. This story has a lot to unpack about the struggles of this young man. I am curious Satya, if you’ve ever read The War of the Gods in Addiction by David Shoen. He’s a Jungian analyst that specializes in addiction. Anyway, his concept was that as addiction progresses a ‘network’ is established between the Shadow and Persona. This explains the Dr. Jekle Mr. Hyde behaviors while on the substance. Then, a more menacing threat takes over that network; the Collective Shadow. As Jungians know, anything collective or archetypal is powerful!! I’m simplifying, of course, but this explains the intense phsycological power driving the behaviors. It’s well beyond anything the ego or waking consciousness can deal with. That’s why, for some, the spiritual Higher Power or Self in Jungian terms may be the only way out of the Archetypal Evil/Shadow network. As I framed the story of Chris in this way, boy it all made sense. He was even aware of the God Self inside himself and sought it out in the Catholic monestary. But that trip back home to his Dad was just what that already established network needed to re-fire. His relationship to the Self wasn’t strong enough yet. Harry Potter is a perfect analogy to this. I’m very sorry for him as well as your pain and loss. Thanks for sharing his story. 🙏
Thank you for your reflections, Christopher.
Thank you for this heartrending story. I am so glad he came to you and touched you after his death. It does confirm that even though he died, he did feel a loving connection and wanted to let you know.
Beautiful and deeply moving, Satya. So rare to see addiction through this lens… and deeply important. Jonathan and I were just talking about addiction and fentanyl specifically, and i feel like this shed light onto some of the questions we were asking.
Thank you, Sonya. ❤️❤️
Thank you for this portrait of the intimacy, and sometimes heartbreak, in a therapeutic relationship. May 'Chris' feel or sense -- know somehow, your tribute to him in your remembering.
What a beautiful tribute to your friend Chris🙏🏻 and such a thoughtful and insightful analysis of the multifold complexities of sustained recovery. Lapse/Relapse risk just never goes away in recovery imo, it can be reduced but never eliminated and the longer we abstain the greater the mortal risk if we relapse (especially with opioids). Opioid tolerance builds in active addiction but also wains in recovery. I see a lot of “Grandiose” thinking in men who have survived and support a well seasoned substance use disorder and always seem to present as a kind of Puer, as you mentioned adorning the "Victim Narrative" as a sort of justification for the history of use. As Miller referenced this sort of inflation is the reverse of depression/BPD2 and part of the denial complex. The mother wound complexes are so very difficult for men to surmount and transcend. I liked that Chris found Catholicism, it points to the healing that can be found in the connection to the Virgin Mother as referenced by Jung that can lead to the building of a structure of completion or wholeness to be gained in surrender to the existential mystery. Finding a "Why" and enough meaning in life to carry on is available to us all as outlined in the 12th Step of recovery. I sometimes think that Sisyphus must be Addictus' anima. Thanks for Sharing
Thank you for this story about a real person. Very powerful.
Thank you, Satya.
I am reminded of a young man I once worked with, though our work together was not long lasting. There are similarities of life experiences, personality traits, philosophies, familial histories, and more. Even the clinical experience with my client was similar. Reading Chris’s story caused me to take a moment to take pause, remember him, and recall the work we did together; was it successful?
Did I make a difference? ❤️
As you spoke of the in session “I love you,” I relate. And even find that in other clients I work with.
So much of the work we do is about LOVE.
in so many ways it’s about preparing for the next lifetime, yes?
Again, thank you Satya for Chris’ story. Lovely, compelling..
Susan
Thanks for sharing that, Susan. I’m grateful for your reflections and colleagueship.
This was so unbelievably powerful, Satya. Thank you
Dear Satya,
Thank you for sharing this. It broke me to read it at first while slowly,synchronously validating something that I have been sitting with for sometime now.
The world used to be a place where community living was accepted and it helped to have that belonging for an individual. Now with this highly differentiated and separateness of being, seems to have really made true " Loneliness Kills."
If being present to one another, being with another's life as a witness or as observer could be felt truly, one wouldn't probably give in to the demons of drugs.
Sorry for rambling.
Thank you for sharing this.. really means a lot to me.
I hear you, Reena. There’s so much about how we live that contributes to our suffering. Thank you for your reflections.
This is amazing Satya! If you have other stories of working with an addict I’d love you to submit them to my column at The Rumpus.,
Thank you for the invitation, Kelly ❤️
Wow. Perfect read for me, this Sunday morning. I will attend today’s group with Satya with more understanding of her therapist point of view.
I relate to his story in many ways, at a lower volume. My parents’ mental troubles, a recurring depression, my use of alcohol for relief. At 74, I am thriving in a sober living, with good support for sobriety, my therapist, and friends in AA. Every time I have tried to live alone, I revert. In community and connection, I find life and love.
Thanks to share that story 🕯️
This essay absolutely gripped me. Chris sounds like such an incredible, intellectual, and emotionally intellegent soul who lived with so much pain. I'm so glad he had your guidance. I truly appreciate the empathy of your words when you write about addiction, especially how you acknowledge addiction/trauma connection.
This quote gutted me:
"He was going to find his way into academia to challenge how addiction is understood and treated, he frequently told me. He was like a journalist embedded in a war zone, this was all just preparation for the story he was going to tell someday, and the policy changes he hoped to make."
He would have been a fabulous journalist. Thanks for sharing his story with us. ❤️🩹
Thank you, Tawny. ❤️
I’m so moved by this beautiful and heartbreaking essay, Satya. Thank you.
Thank you, Cheryl. That means a lot to hear. ❤️
Wonderful to meet you in this space Cheryl! Thank you for Tiny Beautiful things.. it is a compulsory read among my young adults group.
This is beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you.