This makes me wonder why we white people project so much. Its a weakness for sure, this constant need for perfection. The truth is that we carry so much shame and refuse to face it. We have thousands of years of unprocessed trauma from a brutal history and a church(Catholicism and all its crusades, pograms and inquisitions) that shoved shame about being human down our collective throats and still does so (Protestantism even more virently sometimes). Now we spread that trauma all around, trying to fill the holes left in our souls and projecting shadows. What we have is a Great Trauma Recycling System and the more we pretend we are ok, the worse it gets - this shadow play is s big part of how this operates, and of course the shame continues to fester inside. Projection will never make it go away.
When I am aware of a judgment/projection, I bless the person and bless me. That last part releases the internal hook…
Ageism is also a predominant projection and I will pose possibly the largest (at least in Western culture) because every, single “ism” has older people!!
Growing up in the 50s in a Jewish (cultural, not religious) home, my parents taught my brother and I to be aware of the fact that the world hated Jews, that we should only date or marry Jews. But we were growing up in the post WWII era with our Christian friends and I refused to accept their views. I identified as an American first, then Jew. I just wanted to assimilate and blend in with my friends. I have always had a very diverse group of friends and boyfriends. I tried to live the values that demonstrated We Are One.
This past October when Hamas attacked israel and anti-semiticism in the US started growing, I had an awakening. For the first time I faced my shadow- my denial of my heritage. I was always proud to be a Jew- or so I thought I was. But it was not the more important than being American or a Citizen of the Planet.
Now the holocaust is not just history; its return seems possible. So I have come out of the closet, so to speak. I bought a stained glass Star of David and hung it on the security gate of my front patio for the world to see. As small a gesture as this is, I feel simpatico with those black Olympic athletes who raised their fists or Colin Kaepernick kneeling.
I am complete with being assimilated and one with my fellow humans. I am now standing proud and declaring I am a Jew and willing to face whatever risk comes with this.
This new realization is with my identity and doesn't necessarily influence my political views. I pray Israel will bring peace and fairness to the Palestinian people in Gaza, while destroying Hamas.
(I am not sure if this share fits the topic, but it was what bubbled up, so I am sharing it!)
"There’s typically too little emphasis placed on what to do when part of what you’re managing is the weight of someone else’s shadow, or a whole nation’s." I felt this line on a visceral level. Thanks for writing it. And thanks for teaching us about Kwame! His work looks incredible and so so so needed.
I have been writing and meditating on this topic for some time now. I have been trying to undo this knot to organize what is my own insecurity, denial and self doubt and what is my mother’s shadow projection. It’s a didactic tightrope walk where there is fear even in making the differentiation when the Death Mother is lurking all the while screaming “I told you who you are now obey and hold it, you will believe what I say!” The mess of my mother’s shadow projection along with too much neglect in development makes navigating these shattered pieces nearly impossible to form a clear picture. I am finding that it’s like connecting with a spirit that has passed, it’s through subtle sensing when I am at full capacity to be with these haunting parts that I can hear their messages and trace their origins. There has to be a conscious act, physical ritual involving the body when a discovery is made, even if that ritual is an intentional breath mindful of what belongs where, blessing it and hopefully unburdening the weight bearing part.
I see it everyday, stemming mostly from what I believe to be the woundedness within western man and for the most part we remain so vastly ignorant of these ancient wounds of the patriarchal collective and their origins as we continue to project this unmitigated shadow pain onto our brothers & sisters generation after generation, yet imperceptibly this archaic Plutonian energy is afoot in the universal collective unconscious as it wrestles to break through the obscuring patina of our dark history to paint fresh a new reality. Dystopian by Design is folly. Where Power lies Love is Not. Collective Christ Consciousness perhaps?
My girlfriend recently got me a Shadow Journal and Workbook by Scarlett Kent. Would you recommend this or any other workbooks?
And I feel as though I often project my own shadow and tell myself that I've "done shadow work" when I've really been avoiding it for years. Maybe this workbook will help me dive deeper than I thought possible.
Also, have you heard of the 15 minute journaling protocol? I'm still looking into it, but I believe this could be a great way to explore the shadow.
"The mirroring of others is core to the development of the self, but projection has the opposite effect. To mirror a person is to witness and reflect back a person’s innate being through subtle gestures, smiles, words, and a tone of present engagement. Healthy relationships involve a great deal of mirroring, and, as with projection, we’re mostly unconscious of participating. When this natural inclination that each of us have towards being mirrored is twisted, and rather than finding recognition of ourselves in another’s eyes, we see something negative, something false, something that is not ours to be reflected, the results can be shattering. And when a person has experienced a great deal of, let’s call it “projective mirroring” instead of authentic mirroring during their self-development, they may experience significant developmental trauma. It can be hard for them to ever fully parse through what is theirs and not theirs."
This makes me think of those in my family struggling with addiction-- that the addictive behavior is a bandaid to an emptiness or hurt part, and those hurt parts were indeed cultivated by and or within a family constellation carrying certain dysfunction and therefore the person by whom the rest of the family is frustrated because of the addiction is in fact a manifestation of the family's dysfunction?
Thank you, Satya, for undressing the shadow. It helps a lot, especially for Quarterlifers, like my grandchildren, who of course carry parents’ and others’ shadows and that are receptors of their projections. 🙏🏽
I have been trying to more fully understand projection and the shadow, so I thank you for this newsletter and for the resources. Until I recently was introduced to the concept of shadow and projection, I didn't fully see its pervasiveness in my own family dynamics. But I think it's becoming more clear now. However, I often still can't tell what is shadow and projection and what is insecurity and self doubt when it comes to my personal interactions with my family and also my own self. There's still so much to learn.
This makes me wonder why we white people project so much. Its a weakness for sure, this constant need for perfection. The truth is that we carry so much shame and refuse to face it. We have thousands of years of unprocessed trauma from a brutal history and a church(Catholicism and all its crusades, pograms and inquisitions) that shoved shame about being human down our collective throats and still does so (Protestantism even more virently sometimes). Now we spread that trauma all around, trying to fill the holes left in our souls and projecting shadows. What we have is a Great Trauma Recycling System and the more we pretend we are ok, the worse it gets - this shadow play is s big part of how this operates, and of course the shame continues to fester inside. Projection will never make it go away.
Wow, Satya!!!
When I am aware of a judgment/projection, I bless the person and bless me. That last part releases the internal hook…
Ageism is also a predominant projection and I will pose possibly the largest (at least in Western culture) because every, single “ism” has older people!!
Growing up in the 50s in a Jewish (cultural, not religious) home, my parents taught my brother and I to be aware of the fact that the world hated Jews, that we should only date or marry Jews. But we were growing up in the post WWII era with our Christian friends and I refused to accept their views. I identified as an American first, then Jew. I just wanted to assimilate and blend in with my friends. I have always had a very diverse group of friends and boyfriends. I tried to live the values that demonstrated We Are One.
This past October when Hamas attacked israel and anti-semiticism in the US started growing, I had an awakening. For the first time I faced my shadow- my denial of my heritage. I was always proud to be a Jew- or so I thought I was. But it was not the more important than being American or a Citizen of the Planet.
Now the holocaust is not just history; its return seems possible. So I have come out of the closet, so to speak. I bought a stained glass Star of David and hung it on the security gate of my front patio for the world to see. As small a gesture as this is, I feel simpatico with those black Olympic athletes who raised their fists or Colin Kaepernick kneeling.
I am complete with being assimilated and one with my fellow humans. I am now standing proud and declaring I am a Jew and willing to face whatever risk comes with this.
This new realization is with my identity and doesn't necessarily influence my political views. I pray Israel will bring peace and fairness to the Palestinian people in Gaza, while destroying Hamas.
(I am not sure if this share fits the topic, but it was what bubbled up, so I am sharing it!)
"There’s typically too little emphasis placed on what to do when part of what you’re managing is the weight of someone else’s shadow, or a whole nation’s." I felt this line on a visceral level. Thanks for writing it. And thanks for teaching us about Kwame! His work looks incredible and so so so needed.
I have been writing and meditating on this topic for some time now. I have been trying to undo this knot to organize what is my own insecurity, denial and self doubt and what is my mother’s shadow projection. It’s a didactic tightrope walk where there is fear even in making the differentiation when the Death Mother is lurking all the while screaming “I told you who you are now obey and hold it, you will believe what I say!” The mess of my mother’s shadow projection along with too much neglect in development makes navigating these shattered pieces nearly impossible to form a clear picture. I am finding that it’s like connecting with a spirit that has passed, it’s through subtle sensing when I am at full capacity to be with these haunting parts that I can hear their messages and trace their origins. There has to be a conscious act, physical ritual involving the body when a discovery is made, even if that ritual is an intentional breath mindful of what belongs where, blessing it and hopefully unburdening the weight bearing part.
Thank you for sharing a book resource. It helps with my continued work and personal study.
I see it everyday, stemming mostly from what I believe to be the woundedness within western man and for the most part we remain so vastly ignorant of these ancient wounds of the patriarchal collective and their origins as we continue to project this unmitigated shadow pain onto our brothers & sisters generation after generation, yet imperceptibly this archaic Plutonian energy is afoot in the universal collective unconscious as it wrestles to break through the obscuring patina of our dark history to paint fresh a new reality. Dystopian by Design is folly. Where Power lies Love is Not. Collective Christ Consciousness perhaps?
Such an important topic, thank you.
My girlfriend recently got me a Shadow Journal and Workbook by Scarlett Kent. Would you recommend this or any other workbooks?
And I feel as though I often project my own shadow and tell myself that I've "done shadow work" when I've really been avoiding it for years. Maybe this workbook will help me dive deeper than I thought possible.
Also, have you heard of the 15 minute journaling protocol? I'm still looking into it, but I believe this could be a great way to explore the shadow.
https://www.researchhub.com/post/1174/a-science-supported-journaling-protocol-to-improve-mental-physical-health
https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/docs/Therapeutic-Journaling.pdf
"The mirroring of others is core to the development of the self, but projection has the opposite effect. To mirror a person is to witness and reflect back a person’s innate being through subtle gestures, smiles, words, and a tone of present engagement. Healthy relationships involve a great deal of mirroring, and, as with projection, we’re mostly unconscious of participating. When this natural inclination that each of us have towards being mirrored is twisted, and rather than finding recognition of ourselves in another’s eyes, we see something negative, something false, something that is not ours to be reflected, the results can be shattering. And when a person has experienced a great deal of, let’s call it “projective mirroring” instead of authentic mirroring during their self-development, they may experience significant developmental trauma. It can be hard for them to ever fully parse through what is theirs and not theirs."
This is genius. Thank you.
This makes me think of those in my family struggling with addiction-- that the addictive behavior is a bandaid to an emptiness or hurt part, and those hurt parts were indeed cultivated by and or within a family constellation carrying certain dysfunction and therefore the person by whom the rest of the family is frustrated because of the addiction is in fact a manifestation of the family's dysfunction?
Thank you, Satya, for undressing the shadow. It helps a lot, especially for Quarterlifers, like my grandchildren, who of course carry parents’ and others’ shadows and that are receptors of their projections. 🙏🏽
I have been trying to more fully understand projection and the shadow, so I thank you for this newsletter and for the resources. Until I recently was introduced to the concept of shadow and projection, I didn't fully see its pervasiveness in my own family dynamics. But I think it's becoming more clear now. However, I often still can't tell what is shadow and projection and what is insecurity and self doubt when it comes to my personal interactions with my family and also my own self. There's still so much to learn.